I will finish and publish my thesis someday, and i will feel big and small altogether. My PhD in fine arts, here i go 
FUCK MY LUCK.
NOW
I will burn it. on the next new moon.
III.
“I fucking hate sundays”
So, there was this little baby dog. I found him on the door way at 2 o’clock in the morning when i opened the door to receive someone else. I saw him, he was sleeping there on the door’s red carpet, and then i shut the door itself.
On the tuesday morning i remembered the whole last week, it had been full with signals i did not care to see, i didn’t pay attention, ’cause we wasn’t paranoiac about fatality since 1994, it was so unexpected now, but it was always there. I though this year would be different, i thought it was going to be good, turned out it wasn’t going to be that way.
…
Sunday at noon,
i just closed my eyes full of tears,
i wanted to explote,
trade places,
let it be me.
He couldn’t, but he did.
I denied myself to believed it
…
Monday afternoon, it was all gone, he took our hearts and lets us just these rotten bodies. He just had to check out.
…
So, here we had this little baby dog who appeared to the door one Monday afternoon. Who had a rotten face, i dare to say he was dead for a few days. I called him Omar, because of and old funny anecdote, he just stared at us while we used alcohol and white dust to try to clean him up. He didn’t said a word, not one. He just listened and stared trying to find out if everyone was fine, alive, so he would rest in peace, once and for all, he just had to make sure. And then it was us who, on a tuesday night, who made him take the cab for the second time.
He left when he was needed the most.
Twice.
…
…
..
.
“I feel like everything’s rotten. I… I’m just broken hearted”
Hay que empezar con humor los jueves, creo que se han convertido en mi día favorito de la semana, jejeje
Porque la primera de la segunda estaba vacia, todo en silencio y en un negro profundo…
II.II
[Pensó inconsecuentemente: -- Sé que soy difícil a veces]
Ella detestaba no poder aliviar a un amigo triste… porque no podían ser amigos y porque no le entristece su situación. En lo absoluto. Es la primera vez que no empatiza. Y es que le ha sido químicamente imposible. Qué jodidamente difícil es esto, pensó. Ella le quería, pero es utópico pensar que con todo lo que les ha pasado, puedan siquiera pensar en estar juntos. El mal timing es sólo un síntoma del gran desamor que el universo les tiene preparado, después de eso, las decepciones y por último lágrimas. Ya todo está pasando: Hemos sido víctimas de las circunstancias, pensó otra vez.
Y el mundo dejó de respirar.
My mind travels fast at night to places i can’t remember in the morning. If i sleep till noon, it’s not because i was sleepless, it’s because i’m dreaming.
*DO NOT WAKE ME UP*.
-Me myself moi.
This is the BEST Nuclear Explosion EVER! You definitely must see this.
I will learn it and recreated for money, i bet it will paid off!
When i came to think about my future it went always blur, very uncertain, even now, i know what i want and i want to grow old and up and i now how i want to be, but it gets all fussy and misty, i really don’t know whether to trust my self or let destiny and universe take charge and made as it is meant to be and just accept consequences of my leaky lazy weak mind. I know i could be strong and start to mind my own business and take responsibility for myself and my own acts, but it feels so safe in this cocoon and they don’t want me to jump out to life just yet (if we keep this game they will have to throw me away, but i don’t want to let it come to this point, that would be just lazy, more than lazy: inept and hopeless) i better jump out now, even if they get mad and they think i’m not old enough to keep myself, that’s why, i think i had this crazy plan when i was younger to kill them off, so i could do whatever i want without having this moral basis to respect, i could do anything i wanted and they would be resting in peace without knowing anything, i just don’t wanted (and still want) them to be worried about me, but talking about murder that’s just apocaliptical, really extreme.
I must jump, and i will do it now. I will love my misty blurry mud, and i will fight…
…and that’s just kinda geeky sexy 
(to fight in a metaphorical mud against metaphysical odds)
Ésta es la razón por la que este año me he propuesto aprender a tocar la guitarra
Y esperaré cantar así de bonito también.
Ya estoy trabajando en ello, queridos lectores invisibles.
2010 sounds good feels right!
So may you too invisible readers have a good year, as i plan to. This shall be a break through in my life.
I didn’t got the chance to burn the old bad things in the new year’s eve, but i don’t care, this ritual shall be done now, no matter if the new moon wasn’t witness, it will be seeing burn anyway, i can’t spend another year with this burden down my back.
And so it begins… THE BRAND NEW YEAR, Dear Invisible Readers!
Here, this is my gift from me to you, i give you this to laught out loud, or learn how to do an easy breeze kwanzaa cake:
Esto es una ofensa para los que sí saben hacer de comer…
y esas velotas, Diablos! cómo me hace reir!
Have a nice time my dear invisible readers, and enjoy Hanuka.
That i will enjoy the today.
I don’t think i’m ready to be a good mom. At all.
But i will be. Someday
I just feel it’s cold outside.
I think the Grinch stole that part of my heart.
But Away We Go made me cry like a child today, and i loved it, that’s what i need to fullfill my catharsis and change and to get my paradigm ready, tears are always good start. And the hair, that now has totally change me in the outside and inside, i feel my head lighter, i can think clearly now. Finally.
I’m not going to apologize if some of you don’t understand this feeling, my dear invisible readers. I know me.
For the new year: I need to get over some unfinished ugly business and feelings and people i realized this year i don’t want them around me. Or feel anything about them. FJRC to begin with. Family can’t be erased, so i better deal with it.
Oh yeah. The haircut.
